The tagline for "Lee Cronin's The Mummy" is "Some things are meant to stay buried." That also applies to the misguided "Lee Cronin's The Mummy," which should definitely stay deep underground for eternity. Let's face it, Mummy has always been the lamest of the classic, old-school monsters, a grunting, slow-moving and poorly bandaged zombie. Dracula has a bite, after all, and Frankenstein's monster has superhuman strength. What's Mummy going to do? Lumber us to death? Cronin evidently believes there's still life in this old Egyptian cursed dude, despite being portrayed as the dim-witted straight guy in old Abbott and Costello movies or appearing as high priest Imhotep in the Brendan Fraser franchise. So Cronin has resurrected The Mummy but grafted it onto the body of a demon possession movie. His Mummy is actually not a man at all, but a teenage girl who is controlled by an ancient demon and grunts a lot. "Lee Cronin's The Mummy" — the title alone is a flex, like he gets his name on this thing like Guillermo del Toro, John Carpenter or Tyler Perry? — is overly long, constantly ping-pongs between Cairo and Albuquerque, New Mexico, and after a sedate first half, plows into a gross-out bloodfest at the end that doesn't match the rest of the film. Cronin, behind the surprise 2023 horror hit "Evil Dead Rise," is weirdly obsessed by toes and teeth, and while he gets kudos for having an Arabic-speaking main actor (a superb May Calamawy) and portraying real-feeling Middle Eastern characters, there's a feeling that no one wanted to edit his weirder impulses, like some light, inter-family cannibalism. It starts with the abduction of a Cairo-based family's young daughter, who resurfaces eight years later in a 3,000-year-old sarcophagus, catatonic and showing... Read More